


Ache

by GalekhXigisi



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Abandoned Work - Unfinished and Discontinued, F/M, Gen, I Die By My Own Sword, Identity Reveal, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Not Beta Read, Trans Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir, we die by our own sword
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-26
Updated: 2019-07-26
Packaged: 2020-07-19 23:20:45
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,406
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19982224
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GalekhXigisi/pseuds/GalekhXigisi
Summary: I havent liked a single one of my Miraculous Ladybug fanfics outside of Rivers Of Red And How To Care For It (I think that's the name but I have no idea)





	Ache

Adrien sits cross-legged, staring at the kwami with gentle eyes, so full of wonder beneath it all, beneath the mask of Chat Noir. He’s so incredibly thankful for Plagg, who stood as a constant in erasing any and all evidence of Adrien sneaking out, as well as Ladybug, who always did it when she did her  _ Miraculous Ladybug _ thing that Adrien still had yet to come up with a creative name for. He still refused to accept Plagg’s offer of  _ Little Butterfly Things. _

The kwami sits in his hands, her eyes wide and full of wonder, as well as confusion. Thankfully, the happiness of being set free was very much overwhelming any sort of confusion for her. Her tail feathers fan out, full of curiosity as she moves to look at the holder. She floats around him, using her feathers to move her forward and examine him with elegance he’s only seen from other heroes and his mother. 

“Are you my new holder,” she asks with a raised brow, seemingly letting her confusion grasp at herself now. “Because I’ve went through two within the past three years and I’ve ended up hurting them…” Her voice trails off, somewhat broken as she examines him. “And you already have the Black Cat miraculous. Papillion certainly won’t be happy about that, nor Mayura.” 

“Papillion?” 

She raises a brow at his own curiosity, slowly providing, “I believe you call him Hawkmoth nowadays.” 

“Oh. So you know him?” 

“Of course. I served him, as well as Mayura and the Mayura before her, when he was still Papillion and just growing into his role as a holder.” 

Chat Noir sits silently for a moment, examining her up and down and trying to conclude what it meant. Had there been a team of two before this, swindling the world as they needed, getting over every vault without issue? How many partners had Hawkmoth had before this? However, his skin buzzes from Plagg, the kwami currently supplying a million questions a second to his mind, overwhelming the telekinetic connection that they shared. 

He slowly asks, “Who… Who were they before the suits?...” 

She frowns from in front of him, her brows seemingly furrowing. He has no idea how they do, but they do and it only makes his stomach churn, just like the answer. “Emilie and Gabriel Agreste were the original team, then Nathalie Sancoeur and Gabriel Agreste, as Gabriel wants his wife back. Nathalie is so in love with him, unfortunately, so she helps him no matter how much it hurts her, physically  _ and _ emotionally.” 

Adrien has to pause, staring at her with wide, wet eyes. The connection with Plagg seems to suddenly fall deathly silent, the buzz on his skin now filled with angry fire and a cold acceptance that is knowingly his own. He can already feel the tears fall, collecting on his cheeks in a wet, disgusting mess of numb. He gives her a bitter smile. 

“I had my suspicions he was Hawkmoth,” the youngest whispers, voice broken as the tears thickly fall. “I thought that after he’d been akumatized, I could completely brush it off, but… I can’t, can I, now?” 

Duusu seemingly panics at seeing the tears, immediately crying out, “I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to make you cry! Are you okay? Can I help?” 

“I’m fine,” he chokes out, bitter as could be about now knowing who was truly behind the mask. He wipes his face with the back of his hands, smiling as best he can. Adrien slowly supplies, “It’s just a bit hard to know that your parents and caretaker are supervillains that seemingly put your life in danger for a while, huh?’ 

“Parents and…  _ caretaker,” _ she repeats, brows raising as she suddenly puts the pieces together. “You’re Adrienne?” 

“Yeah,” he mumbles, trying to wipe his face. 

There were many benefits to the suit. His injuries were subdued each and every time. He became a bit more nimble in it, too, the instinct of other Chat Noirs’ combining with his own. He knew there was the impending doom that he would meet a horrible end, just like the rest of the Chat Noirs, Hawkmoths, and Peacocks before the line, but he would be  _ damned _ if he didn’t relish the feature that made him look much more masculine in the suit than outside of it. He remembered sobbing for a full hour, so full of happiness at seeing the shortened hair, flat chest, and sharp features. He cried twice as hard when he had finally heard himself speak, just barely making his escape from Ladybug before the dam broke and happy tears filled his eyes. 

He hadn’t needed to sob for hours and justify how he felt. He didn’t have to pat his face down with makeup before a photoshoot erased it all and redid it their way. Instead, it just  _ happened, _ leaving Ladybug and any other being with the impression that he was biologically a boy, one that completely erased any tells at anything else, refuting it all. 

“What… What name would you prefer,” Duusu asks, looking at him with curious eyes. “Many holders before you for a lot of the miraculouses… They needed different names after they first got out of the suit.” 

“Adrien,” he chokes out without hesitance. 

The word  _ hurts. _ The only person he had admitted that to was Plagg, and Plagg wasn’t exactly  _ human _ in the first place. However, the kwami had supplied that no matter how glorified the suit made him, he was still a boy, no matter what anyone said and no matter what got photoshopped. He forces down his tears. Chat Noir could deal with them later, when things weren’t so broken and he could sort his feelings properly. 

Duusu nods, smiling. “And I’m still Duusu.” She looks at him and moves forward, wiping his tears with a sad look on her face as she does so. “I’m so sorry, Adrien…” 

Being called that only makes the cracks deepen, making him cry harder as he looks at her through soaked eyes. Only Plagg had called him that. It was so much better than Adrienne, the constant reminder littering every billboard or ad that seemingly popped up everywhere only to spite the young miraculous holder. He smiles a wet, broken smile, beyond just  _ relieved _ at the silent support she supplies, whether it be with intent or without. It’s still as comforting as can be for the hero. 

-

Adrien frowns as he stumbles to Marinette’s home. He feels horrid for intruding, but he knows who the girl is beneath the mask, beyond aching to let her know he did. However, he always kept from doing so, not yet ready to see her reaction or hear the pity in her voice that would knowingly leak in the instant she realized his identity. Thankfully for him, she sat on the deck of her roof, sketching beneath the stars as he landed. 

“Chat Noir,” she greets with a kind smile. With the amount of times he had found himself at her doorstep, confiding in her as she did with him or Ladybug had done with Chat Noir so many times, this was far from something new. She caught the way he instantly relaxed at her voice, collapsing on one of her chairs with a sigh. “What’s wrong, Kitty?” 

“Marinette,” he chirps out, leaning up to look her him the eyes. She sets her things aside, fulling facing him and intent on listening to every single thing she can get her hands on, ready to comfort him. “Okay, so, this is going to be  _ super _ imposing and I know you won’t be that happy about it, but I know you’re Ladybug.” 

He watches her mouth drop open, flinching away at the yells that follow. He prepares for a smack that he knows will never come, braced for the worst. Within the years he had done modeling, he had learned to always expect the worst reactions possibly. Her yells, though, aren’t angry, just indignant and broken, unable to form a fluid sentence as she attempts to tell him now. However, the only thing that comes out is the stuttered mess and yelps. 

“I… I just needed you to know that I know who Hawkmoth is,” he supplies, pulling out the peacock miraculous, the little kwami following, “And this is Duusu, the peacock kwami. She is Mayura’s kwami. Even if you aren’t Ladybug, at least know… That I trust you enough to tell you that my father is Hawkmoth. I didn’t fully realize until tonight, but… Sometimes… It-” 

“If you say anything along the lines of  _ ‘sometime it be like that,’ _ I’m going to scream,” Marinette chimes before she even gets the chance to stop herself. It was the exact line Ladybug had told him only a few hours before. 

He gives a nod. “Understandable.” 

“I… I really didn’t want you to find out my identity before we got Hawkmoth.” 

“Yes, but now we know who he is, so we can get him.” 

“Then who is he?” 

“Gabriel Agreste.” 

She raises a brow, clearly not believing him in the least. She ignores TIkki, who seemingly bashes into Duusu, taking the kwami down to the ground with the girls laughing loudly, beyond happy at being reunited, just like Plagg had been earlier. “Gabriel Agreste only has a daughter, Chat. And you  _ really _ don’t look like Adrienne.” 

He glares, unable to hold down his temper as he yells, “I know! I am the daughter! I’m transgender, Marinette!” Before he can even think out what he’s doing, he calls, “Plagg, claws in,” voice almost silent through his gritted teeth. 

Marinette stumbles back, falling out of her chair with an indignant squawk, any and all elegance from the suit gone from her as she stares at him. 

Adrien hates the look he gets from her. A fit of sadness boils in her stomach, making her feel sick as she read the emotions on Marinette’s face.  _ Disbelief, anger, shock, disgust, _ the list going on until Adrien finds himself staring at her, his fit of anger falling down to a fit of silent sobs. 

“I’m so sorry,” he whimpers, bringing his hands up to his eyes, frantically scrubbing at the tears with the hilt of his palm. “I just need to get his miraculous and then i can be out of your hair for the rest of your life, I swear. I-I’ll move away or get put somewhere, I don’t know. It’s just one last night with some other heroes so we can get his miraculous and-” 

“I don’t want you to leave,” Marinette suddenly chokes out, snatching his attention out of the spiral. Wide, blue eyes stare at him, full of love and care,  _ acceptance. _ She can only do her best to convey the millions of emotions that run through her at a time, making her ache so horribly at the consideration that he would rather disappear from her life than burden her with knowing her identity. It makes her physically ill to see the tiniest sliver of hope in her friends’ eye. How far had he been willing to go for her? 

“I don’t want you to leave,” she repeats,  _ “please?” _ Her own voice breaks as she examines him. 

He’s violently shaking, just barely suppressing the aching sobs that wracked his body so violently. He hunches in on himself, face downcast and pale, sickly looking itself. She moves forward, desperate to stop the crying. “I… What’s your preferred name, Kitty? I don’t want to use a dead one on you, nor lose you again.” 

_ “‘Again,’” _ he asks, confused. 

“Again,” she repeats. “There were so many times that you could have almost died and I… You’ve been living with him your entire life... You could have been changed into something like him so easily, yet you’re still  _ you, _ all genuine and kind as can be. You’re so gentle with everyone and you’re always so nice….” 

“I wasn’t nice when I found out you knew Rena and Carapaces’ identities,” he whimpers, forcing his voice to even out, “and it’s,,, it’s Adrien.” 

“Adrien, can anyone  _ really _ blame you? You’ve been-b-been so isolated your entire life. Remember when you said Nino was your second friend and I was your third after we fought the first day of knowing each other? I was so cruel to you and yet you  _ still _ wanted to be my friend, no matter how harsh I had been with you.” She can feel the tears burn her eyes. “I would have been so incredibly pissed. I know I would have fought it out until someone told me… but all you did was spend the one moment calling it out.” 

“I still only know your identity,” he scoffs out bitterly as he wipes his face, smiling softly for the other. “And Kagami’s.” 

“You pieced together who iIwas before the others?” 

“Alya and Nino don’t count. They’re kind of given as is. I’m surprised all of Paris doesn’t know their identities.” 

The two fall into fits of laughter and broken sobs, smiling at each other. Adrien was beyond surprised when he woke up the next morning enveloped in her arms, tucked beneath Marinette’s covers with the girl so protectively wrapped around him. It was surreal until Adrien slammed up, yelping, “My father is going to  _ kill me,” _ calling out a quick, “Duusu, feathers out,” in his panic.

THe new transformation probably would have been an awful lot smoother if he hadn’t been falling when he’d done it, but he still noticed some of the same effects he had with Chat Noir. His chest was flatter, thankfully, albeit covered in elegant feathers that he hadn’t exactly seen on Mayuras’ outfit. The dark blue leaves his hair and skin as a stark contrast to the colors. It only contrasts more to the bright pink accents that highlight the feathers. He freezes up before doing a full spin in an attempt to see the tail feathers. He only notices the fan attached to his hip  _ after _ he stops, staring at it with wide eyes, pulling it away slowly. 

“What the  _ fuck,” _ he hears Marinette ask, her confusion painfully clear as she peers at the new outfit. 

Adrien turns to her, confused as can be before chiming, “I didn’t mean to put it on but I don’t have time to be late. Nathalie is going to be there to wake me up in ten minutes!” 

**Author's Note:**

> I havent liked a single one of my Miraculous Ladybug fanfics outside of Rivers Of Red And How To Care For It (I think that's the name but I have no idea)


End file.
